aprendendo espanol

I have a lot of anxiety about learning spanish, so if I seem somewhat touchy about that subject sometimes, that's why. I'm scared that 6 weeks will pass and I still won't be able to understand a word anyone says. As it is, I can understand someone if they speak in simple words, slowly, directly at me. If they speak quickly, but still at me, I can understand more than half if I know the context. I tend to get most confused when people change topics. On the other hand, when two people are talking to each other, I can't understand a single thing.

Anyway, everyone keeps telling me that my Spanish is improving rapidly because I can string entire sentences together sometimes. And that's true, but (a) I can't understand as much as I can say and (b) my pronunciation, while improving, is bad enough that sometimes people can't understand me even when I get the words right. At the bar last night, three of the maestros had a good 15 minute laugh at the fact that I couldn't pronounce my maestra's name. Her name is Claudia, and as I now know, it sounds like cloud-e-uh. I kept saying clod-e-uh, which was far enough from cloud-e-uh that they didn't know who I was talking about. (In fact, one of the teachers had had this conversation with me earlier, and he brought it up at the bar to make fun of me some more. It's okay, though, since being made fun of makes things stick in your mind real good.)

My anxiety is mostly about being able to understand, even though everyone else seems to think that oral comprehension is so much easier than speaking. I just seem to struggle in particular with comprehension. I'm trying to get used to Vs that sound like Bs and LLs that sound like Js, because those two tend to trip me up a lot.

That said, the fact that I can't roll my Rs is also driving me batty. Even more so, because I'm almost positive I was able to do it 10 years ago when I was taking Spanish in college. Of course, this is a problem in Spanish, since the trilled R is the only difference between words like 'caro' (expensive) and 'carro' (car) or 'pero' (but) and 'perro' (dog). All the teachers say I should practice with a pencil between my teeth, which I've done, but it doesn't really seem to be helping. Last night, one of the teachers suggested that I play a drinking game wherein I try to say the word 'carro' and every time I can't say it, I take a drink. I pointed out that this would end up with me passed out on the floor, and he conceded that this was 'a risk.' Yup, these are the individuals responsible for my Spanish education!